In Defense of Sex Scenes

If you hadn’t noticed, I’m an author of romance novels.  Most novels of this ilk get a bad rep for being flowery and raunchy.  Some, truth be told, are.

But there are a lot of romance novels that are neither, yet still hold to the traditional elements of a romance story.  They show, in-depth, a portion of a couple’s love story; whether that be the beginning, middle, or end of it.

One of the most important aspects of a relationship is- da, da, DA!- Sex.  You can squirm all you want, but we all know it’s true.  What romantic relationship (adult, that is) works without a healthy sex life?

I’m not going to discuss the virtues of waiting until marriage.  That’s a personal judgment call that I respect.  Even then, though, once you get married, the relationship must have this element to endure.

So what is my argument for?  It’s an argument for sex scenes in novels (and movies, TV…).

I’m not talking Fifty Shades of Grey.  Not at all.

If you like that kind of thing, that’s great.  Have at it.  Whatever makes a story worth it for you.

What I’m talking about is intimate communion.  A good romance story to me, must have this element.  It doesn’t need to be detailed  (though I can handle the most detailed sex scene you could throw at me).  It just needs to be filled with emotion and meaning.  Because without it, a relationship can’t stand.

Sure, we all like the chaste sexual tension of Jane Austen’s novels.  And who doesn’t think Heathcliff and Catherine in Wuthering Heights should get a room?  When it comes down to it, we know it’s there.  We envision it.

Come on- don’t tell me you never thought about Mr. and Mrs. Darcy’s wedding night.  Especially if you’re fans of Colin Firth.


What I’m saying is this:  in my book (literally), sex is an integral part of any romance story.  That comes through in innuendo, in exposition, even in dialog.  It’s also powerful scenes where two people who have fallen in love (or lust) work out how compatible their souls are.

If you give it a chance, you might find sex scenes give completion to the most beloved and revered of stories.

(Did you see what I did there?  I know you did!)




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